We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
