can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
