Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
