i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
