one two three fourrrrnication!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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