Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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