In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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