i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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