Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Randomize
