The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
