summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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