How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize