omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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