i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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