Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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