I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
