YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
