i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
