You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
