Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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