i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
