i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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