And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
