i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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