theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
