you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize