theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
