He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
