After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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