I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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