sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
