is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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