so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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