weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
