booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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