sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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