What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
