when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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