I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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