did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let's paint friendship bongs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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