so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
