well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
