he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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