he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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