Don't make out with my wife yet
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
