She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
