I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
