Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
