I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
