I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
