They have a pepper shaker for pot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
