He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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