is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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