Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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