ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
