If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
