Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
