I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its liver damage thursday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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