worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
