Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
