I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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