eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
