...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
