Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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