smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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