She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
