Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
